Viva Las Vegas

So I have been itching the itch to come to Las Vegas for quite sometime. One day, one day. A bit like bothering to book Glastonbury or getting round to appreciating The Smiths. One day it will happen and I bathe in enlightenment through this hedonly experience...
Now maybe because I have my "time of the month". Time of the month?! Its certainly not my favourite thing in a month. Payday is more my kinda thing I guess. Mind you I could see it that my eggs make me rich. The most feminine. Creator, potential to make a human person being! My god arent women great. I would like you all to stop and think about how great women are and how we have slowly overcome sexist BULLSHIT even though sadly women are the worst oppressors of them all!
I digress.
What I was trying to get at that I am not, have not had my wild Vegas experience. But I guess thats okay, on my own, not much money and the fact that I'm reminded of Blackpool is probably why. Arriving early at Planet Hollywood to perform I quickly notice the bar sucks, I look at people endlessly staring into gambling graphics hoping they'll win big. Pressing the button over and over. No skill. All luck. Girls dance on the bar, women clad in corsets and a "I want gratitude" attitude. I slink off meet Dumbledore (walking stick n all) go to a Burlesque show which I walked out of. The only other shows Ive walked out of was Robin Hood:Men in Tights and the band Doves. Oh and Outbreak as I was stoned and thought it was a surfing movie. Not a graphic killing disease film spreading out of control. I return sing a few songs, compliments soothe my soul a little. I grab a lift from a nice guy I've been chatting to...until he tells me he has a gun is pocket...no no not the age old chat up line. A loaded weapon, ready to use if needs be. 'An armed society is a polite society' drift out of his mouth into my tired exasperated ears. I want to go home. I try to remain open minded to the people I meet but this frankly upsets me. Vegas has not started well.